Lottie's quest to rid Pairo Island of the Big One, the froggy scourge that's been making its inhabitants' lives a nightmare.
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| Our slayer of beasts, everyone. Tutori help us all. |
Seafood
[show/hide]A collection of public-facing exchanges with a light tone and a focus on setting up short, (allegedly) comedic arcs.
Mmmm Samon
[show/hide]Lottie is saddled with the hefty responsibility of killing the Big One to prepare the ultimate feast, and she's in dire need of a harpoon. But where on earth is she going to find one?
Behold, the screenshot that ruined my life. |
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Pairo Island's greatest threat lurks in the deep sea, and you can purge it in its nigh-perpetual infancy, and serve a feast befitting of a true hero, if you've got enough willpower and a big enough harpoon. I hear mok huak is pretty good. |
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Or you can just have salmon. That works too. |
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Um… I wasn't into the, uh, hero's feast thing at first… but now I'm kind of intrigued. D…do you know where I can find a whaling harpoon? |
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Ma'am, this is a clothes store. |
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…Have you tried checking the back? |
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Jill was right. There really are no whaling harpoons in the back of this clothing store. Good thing they're paying me literally all the money on Earth per hour, or I'd quit. |
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It's Symbolic
[show/hide]Ryouta keeps a dead frog in his refrigerator as a way to taunt the Big One, but the smell is starting to become more trouble than it's worth.
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>They don't know about the dead frog I keep in the fridge to mock The Big One and strike fear into his heart |
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[gags, shudders] Does… does anyone else smell that?! |
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Huh, you shouldn't. The fridge is closed. |
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What? |
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What? |
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Is this because of the dead frog thing? It's symbolic! I'd build an effigy to destroy or something but I don't really have the time. |
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See— [gags, coughs] —see you sometime later. |
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About the frog… it's a nice gesture, er, ah, I'm sure your heart was in the right place. But if you want to help maybe you could buy me a speargun online? |
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I see. I'll have to consider that. |
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Good to hear. I'd hate for your apartment to smell bad. |
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Hmmm… |
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Already tried that. I wish this place did sell harpoons, though. |
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I like what you've done with the place. |
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Thanks. |
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Barely even smells in here anymore. I assume you've done away with the frog? |
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Mm-hmm. |
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Brilliant. That's wh— [sniffs] —what's in the Game Boy? |
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Lottie. |
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What's in the Game Boy?! |
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Damn, You Live Like This?
[show/hide]Lottie tries to sweep the existence of the Big One under the rug after learning that a friend has come to Pairo Island, scared that the slightest mention of it will turn him away for good.
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What's got you in such high spirits? |
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There's this adorable little guy that just moved in today. |
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Really now? |
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Uh-huh, he's up in room 301. Have you met him yet? His name's Allyn. |
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[SPITS OUT OIN JUICE] |
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Say… [snzzz] goodbye… wriggler… |
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Oh dear, he's actually here… D…do you think he's going to leave if he finds out I live in a place like this? |
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And just what the hell is that supposed to mean? |
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I'm sure he's been through enough that this won't faze him. I mean, it's basically just Nessie. But evil. And with mind control powers. |
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Just try not to mention anything about, ah… the ocean near him. |
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He told me I was talking in my sleep a while ago… I think I might have. |
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… |
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At least it wasn't a nightmare…? |
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Dude. What if he already knows about it? |
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There's no way he does, or he would've left by now! |
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Well, how come? |
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It's… just… it's too weird! I mean, it's a gigantic, dictatorial, murderous tadpole! It would make anyone want to leave, it's like some sort of curse! |
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Ah, yes. A curse. Which I'm sure Allyn would have zero experience with. |
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You know, I… I never really thought of it that way. |
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Supplementary drawing – Paranoia Simulator (3/6/2022) |
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Hopefully we'll all be able to keep this under wra—wait a minute, where's Allyn? |
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He's at Ryouta's place. They just hit it off. |
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Oh dear… Oh dear. |
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Booting Worst-Case Scenario Simulator Build 1077-3R… |
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Book 2
[show/hide]Lottie attempts to write her own book deconstructing the bleak title How to Defy the Will of the Infallible Tadpole Lord - Book 1: You Can't, but the writing process proves to be quite difficult.
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How to Defy the Will of the Infallible Tadpole Lord - Book 2: Or Can You? |
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This manuscript is going to be pretty tough to finish. Especially since all I've written so far is the word "the" in fancy lettering. |
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I mean, it has great potential and I love the title, but… it's just the word 'the'. |
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My manuscript is getting longer—4 whole words! |
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… |
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At this rate I'm going to be in my thirties by the time I've finished this. And that beast is still going to be a baby. Better get back to work. |
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Miscellaneous
[show/hide]Lottie tries to navigate her Big One-saddled life with her based comrades.
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[retches] |
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Dude, are you si—oh, right, that. |
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Yeah… that. |
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Y'know, I can just pull a Johnson on that thing at any time. |
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Please do. |
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Why are you looking at guns? |
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I wish I was you so badly. |
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Seaside Lovers
[show/hide]A series of confrontations set around sandcastles and in boats, out in the "fresh" ocean air.
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A monument to triumph! |
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And love! Sweet love! |
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And mok huak! [giggles] |
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So much mok huak! [giggles] |
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It's a flimsy little sand grave for a big baby! |
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And may his legacy last as long as it does! |
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…Vito? |
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Mm? |
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That thing you said earlier… about the ocean smelling horrid and making you sick with hate… I think I finally get it now. |
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LEAVE THESE WATERS AT ONCE, WRETCHED, SHALLOW CREATURES OF THE SHORE. IF YOU WISH TO DESTROY ME OR SO MUCH AS BELIEVE IT CAN BE DONE, THEN DO NOT PROLONG THE INEVITABLE WITH YOUR PATHETIC GAMES. YOU WILL EVICT YOURSELVES FROM MY DOMAIN AND YOU WILL ONLY RETURN ONCE YOU SEE FIT TO EXPUNGE ME FROM THE WORLD, AND CREATE YOUR DEGENERATE NEW ONE IN MY ABSENCE. |
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We were just hearing things, weren't we? |
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Mm-hmm! J…just hearing things is all! |
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We'll go swimming, won't we… |
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And fishing! |
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Long walks right… [gulps] Right by the shore! |
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Breathing in all that… [clears throat] fresh ocean air! |
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The taste of… [gasps] mok huak… [pants] still fresh on our… [wheezes] |
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DO NOT SUCCUMB TO THAT DEBAUCHERY, YOU CORPULENT WRETCH. I DID NOT BESTOW THE GIFT OF PURITY UPON YOU JUST FOR YOU TO RETURN TO THE GRIME I RESCUED YOU FROM. LEAVE THAT LECHER OF YOURS TO PERISH IN THE MIASMA OF MY BOILING HATRED, OR STAY HERE AND PERISH ALONG WITH HIM, BUT I REFUSE TO LET THIS DEPRAVITY CONTINUE. |
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WHY WON'T YOU DEGENERATES DIE? DIE! DIE!! |
A Double Humbling
[show/hide]Lottie slowly begins to absorb the gravity of her situation.
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A view like this… L…leaves you humble, doesn't it. I've… never been this conscious of what I'm going up against. How big it is. How small I am. The sea is beautiful, but I just… |
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Wow. I really have to k…kill this thing, don't I? |
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DO IT, COWARD. I DARE YOU TO TRY. |
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I… you… you don't… |
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It… made a chill go down my spine, saying all that. I… I feel lucky to be alive. |
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To… to be quite honest, I didn't expect that to come out as… cool as it did. I was threatening this… this inhumanly powerful thing, and I hardly choked… [chuckles] I don't really know what came over me! |
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Take Me (Prologue)
[show/hide]Jill shares her concerns about the Big One with Lottie. Lottie reveals that she is starting to feel the effects of the Miasma. Russell attempts to carve his way into survival.
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Y'know, it really does kinda hurt seeing your friends come into your room, and they're coughing and wheezing like they just ran a marathon after a gas leak, and you know there's not a damn thing you can do about it. |
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Oh, dear… |
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I'd try to kill the Big One myself, to be honest. But he could take my mind. Or Russell's. We're pretty much free game now. It's kinda scary. But he doesn't have that power over you. Show him hell for us, alright? |
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W…will do. |
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Jill? |
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Hm? |
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I'm… starting to smell it. |
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Just… push through it… con…trolled breathing… if you can survive this… [ghck!] |
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Take Me
[show/hide]Jill and Russell discuss the possibility of the Big One forcing them to fall in love.
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Russell? |
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Yeah? |
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Think he's gonna take us? |
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You mean kill us? |
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Well… in the brains. Or the hearts, maybe. Y'know, mash us together like action figures. |
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Ugh. I don't like to think about that. |
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I'm gonna hold my ground. No matter how hard he tries to make it seem real. |
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Same here. I'm not going to let a baby take control of my soul. |
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Breathing been getting any easier? |
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Can't tell, to be honest. It might be. |
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Think he can hear us? |
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I dunno. Probably not. |
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What if we tricked him? |
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Into what? |
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Thinking he's won. We'll have a lavender wedding. |
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You serious?! I couldn't even pretend to be into you. You look like a goddamn toe. |
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Jill…! [giggles] |
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That's what the mind control is for! [giggles, sighs] You're definitely not my type. |
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Well, at any rate, it might have some merit. He thinks he's fixed Vito. Droning on about rescuing him from the grime and things like that. And it might just be me, but… it doesn't seem like he's choking as hard as I am. |
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Yeah, but like, think about it. How long are we gonna have to keep this up? What are we gonna do? |
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We're going to kill him anyway, while he's all chuffed about ending degeneracy or whatever. Destroying his little delusions of grandeur with a harpoon… it will be delicious as hell. And then we'll divorce right after. |
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By My Hand?
[show/hide]Jill isn't entirely satisfied with Russell's idea, and the whole prospect of being "taken" by the Big One is beginning to take an emotional toll on her. Lottie attempts to console her, but grows frustrated herself after realizing she's become unable to comfortably talk about her mission.
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"…And then we'll divorce right after." I mean, I guess I kinda understand the gesture a little bit, and I know all this has got him really tired, and he'll do anything at this point so he doesn't have to struggle to live, but I just can't do it. It doesn't feel right. Like that thing wants Russell to stop being himself or die, and we're just gonna play into that. I can't even pretend. I know it's literally the point that we're tricking it, but it's not enough that we're making it happy by lying to it, cause we're still making it happy. And I don't want it happy. I want it dead. |
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Don't worry, Jill. This'll all be behind you once I've k… once I've k-k… [clears throat] After I've k… ki… ki…uhm. |
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It's OK, take your time. |
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I just… don't know if I can really do it yet. |
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You do that when you're ready, too, but just…be ready soon, alright? |
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Can I just not talk about it now? "The Big One is a menace. He needs to be, uh… killed." Alright, okay. |
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"And… and I'm going to be the one who k…ki…ki…kills… him." [sucks air through teeth] |
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"The Big One, umm… will… die." |
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"The Big One… will… d…d-die by my hand—" |
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[buries face in hands] Oh, I'm lying to myself! |
Written adaptation
[show/hide]A passage from Lottie's point of view with additional content.
"'And then we'll divorce right after.' I mean, I guess I kinda understand the gesture a little bit, and I know all this has got him really tired, and he'll do anything at this point so he doesn't have to struggle to live, but I just can't do it. It doesn't feel right."
Jill pauses to take a breath. "Like, that thing wants Russell to stop being himself or die, and we're just gonna play into that. I can't even pretend. I know it's literally the point that we're tricking it, but it's not enough that we're making it happy by lying to it, 'cause we're still making it happy." Her voice gets heavier and heavier, and I can swear it's starting to crack. "And I don't want it happy. I want it dead."
"Don't worry, Jill." A lump forms in my throat. "This'll all be behind you once I've k… once I've k-k…"
I can almost taste the hollowness of my words as they start to fracture, like the waves breaking along that accursed beach. I try to clear my throat, but the stinging sensation doesn't go away. "After I've k… ki… ki… uhm."
"It's OK, take your time."
"I just don't know if I can really do it yet."
"You do that when you're ready, too, but just…" A bit of impatience starts to soak through Jill's voice. "Be ready soon, alright?"
I nod, still just as unsure of myself.
☙
Back at home, the fluorescent light coldly washes over me. My hands are trembling a bit. I feel like a feather could crush me. There had to be some reason I choked back there. Maybe the Big One's gotten a hold of my tongue, I joke. It doesn't calm me.
Everyone's got their grievances about the Big One, and it's going to be torture answering them about my mission now if I keep getting stuck on the word for the thing I'm about to do. "Can I just not talk about it now?" I lament out loud.
I draw in a sharp breath. "The Big One is a menace. He needs to be, uh, killed," I say, steady and deliberate.
"And…" My throat tightens. "And I'm going to be the one who k…ki…ki…kills… him." I wince.
"The Big One, umm… will… die." The realization starts to set in.
"The… the Big One… will… d-d…die by my hand—"
I put my face in my hands, a burning feeling spreading across my cheeks like I'm about to cry. "Oh, I'm lying to myself!"
The despair gradually gives way to rage, the fire inside me starting to burn blue. Who's to say I am lying to myself? There will be killing and dying! Do I get to talk about it or not?
"Death!" The shout tears through me. "Die, die, kill, kill, violence! Dying and killing!" So much energy escapes my lungs that my throat becomes raw and my every breath causes my body to heave. Beneath the pounding of my heart, I can just barely hear the doorknob rattle.
The bill of an orange cap peeks in through the crack in the door. "You alright, Lottie?"
"I'm fine," I reply, my breath still ragged. "Or I'll be fine, anyway. I'm just thinking about how badly I need to—" I cry out in exasperation.
"You don't sound that fine to me," says Etsuko, prying the door the rest of the way open. Her bell-bottoms lightly swish as she saunters in. "This a bad time to talk about the whole, uh…?" She purses her lips, her hand wriggling like a tadpole.
"Mm-hmm."
"We could just sit here and game instead. That might be nice."
"Yeah." I nod, attempting to regain my composure. "That might be nice."
Interlude 1
[show/hide]A set of events that don't collectively constitute a single arc.
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Just… keep calm, ignore it all, nothing's there, nothing's there… c…controlled breathing… |
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YOU CANNOT CLOSE YOUR EYES TO MY UNENDING WRATH, CHARLOTTE. |
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Damn, Russell, your endurance…! |
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Yeah… I've been at this every day for weeks now. For obvious reasons. |
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You believe in me, right? You really think I can ki…uh, do it, right? |
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[meows] |
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I'll take that as a yes. |
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Ugh… so dizzy… |
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I've got you. Good on you for making it out here this long. |
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Tha… thank you Jill. |
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Hey, I can't hear him for some reason. What's he saying? |
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Some… [groans] Something about you. And Russell. And me. And… justice. I… I can hardly stand up… |
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I'll take us back like I said, alright? |
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Alright. |
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You know what would be absolutely fantastic on this grill? |
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[in unison] Tadpole. |
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Tadpole! |
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Mm… [sniffs] Just trash and corpses today. What's gotten him so relaxed? |
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Let's Harpoon!
[show/hide]Lottie discovers a Big One-hunting game by unheard-of developer Kato Studio and attempts to work through her confidence issues by playing it.
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I found this outside! |
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And you're just gonna play it like that? |
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"Let's Harpoon"? |
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It's a simulator. It says it has amazing graphics and physics. I think if I master this, then I'll feel much better about, ah… about, er… doing… that, that thing I'm supposed to be doing. To the, uh… Big One. |
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No way. |
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Nuh-uh! Not again! |
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It's like it didn't want to land! |
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We should… stop playing now. For the sake of our sanity. |
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It's no wonder nobody's ever heard of Kato, if this is the kind of trash they make! |
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What's all this? |
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I'm on an obscure media forum trying to find out more about this Kato Studio. I even made a post, which was, ah… kind of nerve-wracking, if I'll be honest. But nobody seems to have heard of them. |
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Must've gone bankrupt the second they put that game out. |
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This Kato Studio thing is really getting to me… maybe I should stop looking. |
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Kato? |
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Huh? Do you have any info on them?! |
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No, I just… Lottie, this is propaganda. |
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Propaganda? |
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Propaganda. |
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How do you know? |
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It literally means tadpole. |
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Tadpole?! |
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Mm. You can't land anything on it by design. It's to convince you there's no chance, so don't bother trying. |
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No way, no way…! |
基本を学ぶ時間です!  |
Supplementary drawing – Head asplode (3/7/2022) |
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The Happy Couple (Part 1)
[show/hide]Lottie emerges from a strange brain fog and attempts to retrace her thoughts. Vito starts worrying about Russell's well-being after a similar thing happens to him.
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Woah, my mind was just so foggy a second ago. Felt like I was thinking through molasses. |
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Alright, concentrate… what were you just thinking about… |
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Russell! It was Russell. Oh, he'll be so happy once he can breathe again… Everything will be perfect. Umm… |
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Jill, too! She was so scared. Mind control is such an awful thing to have happen to you, so I can definitely understand why. I wonder what it f— |
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Wait a minute. |
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Did I… was I…? It didn't feel like I was all at home. Russell… Jill… was I… was I thinking it would be horrible to push them together… |
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Or cute? |
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R…Russell? I, uh… he, uh… so-something, um… my— |
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Pow! Beat you! |
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Um… sure, haha! |
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Does your mind ever just go blank sometimes? |
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I… don't think so, no. |
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Oh well. |
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Russell, are you okay? |
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If I forgot about it, it can't have been that important. |
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But Ru— |
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I've gotta get going now. Bye, love you! |
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Russell… |
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Um, Russell? W-what do you think it's like to be… taken… by the Big One? |
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Well, I imagine you wouldn't remember it afterwards. And while he's controlling you your mind would just go… |
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… |
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[both] Oh no. |
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Poor Russell. Poor, poor, poor, poor, poor Russell. Poor thing. |
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Interlude 2
[show/hide]Among another assortment of events, the specter of mind control starts to haunt Jill's thoughts more and more.
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Get your head in the game! |
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[huff] [puff] No… no way Russell does this… every other week! |
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It's… [snzzz] it's me… it's always been me… [ssnnrkk] Please, believe me… it's… me, Jill… |
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♪ WITH A TASTE OF YOUR LIPS, I'M ON A RIIIDE! YOU'RE TOXIC, I'M SLIPPIN' UNDER! |
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Why are you singing Toxic? I mean, it slaps, so I'm not complaining, I'm just… curious.(R) |
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…Long story. |
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Kind of in poor taste, don't you think? |
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[chuckles] Shut up! |
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Mm… get away, this… [snnrrkk] this isn't you… snap out of it… |
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…Jill? |
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Honestly, this almost makes me… [coughs] makes me forget about the… |
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Time's up, we gotta get out of here! |
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Yeah… [wheeze] But this… was kind of fun. |
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The Happy Couple (Part 2)
[show/hide]Etsuko visits Lottie to console her about her unfortunate brainwashing, but finds something amiss.
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How are ya? Doing better now? |
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M… much better. |
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Thank goodness. I thought you'd be devastated about the whole mind control thing. Like, forever. |
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I d… d… didn't know it was happening. So it w… wasn't that bad. |
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Is it just me, or do you seem… different? |
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I'm exactly the same. |
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Mm… you're totally spacing out right now. |
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N… no more than usual. |
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Still got that fiend on your mind, huh. |
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Y… yes, actually, of course. I… I need time alone now. To… to keep thinking. About k… k… killing the Gre… the Big One. |
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Really, now? |
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…Yes. P… p… please get out. |
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O-kay… |
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Something's totally up with her. Maybe the mind control traumatized her… but it's not like her to be in such deep denial about it. |
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Hold on… it wasn't like her to do any of that! Completely fine after the terror of the enemy getting into your head… not knowing it was happening should have made her more horrified, not less! And she was so wishy-washy about whether she wanted me to know she was spacing out! And so quick to tell me to leave! And it's usually much harder for her to talk about killing the Big One than this! It's a whole psychological ordeal… she hardly even mentions it anymore! Even the stammering sounded forced and fake! It was like she was doing a terrible impression of herself, like someone else was…! |
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…Huh. What was I just thinking about? |
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…Me too! Russell's been worrying me so much I can hardly sleep. It sure sounds a lot like mind control. But you can never be too sure. I could be onto something… but then again I could just be overreacting… |
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Too many things just didn't add up! Especially when she talked about killing the… wait. She almost said something else. |
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…Something else? |
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Yeah, like… "great" or something? |
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Etsuko… [heavy sigh] |
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Mm? |
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I've had the misfortune of hearing… a lot of things from the Big One. It goes on and on about degeneracy and debauchery, and it kind of drags me about my weight, too… uh, point is, you should be terrified right now. |
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…I should? |
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[nods] She was about to call him the Great One. Only the Big One calls himself that. |
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Mona? I… I think I was mind-controlled again. |
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"Again"?! |
pls ignore that they're smiling i literally can't do anything about it  |
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I've caught you in the act, you disgusting frogspawn! |
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E— |
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Give Lottie back and never touch her again or I'm charging straight into the ocean and— |
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Etsuko, it's me! |
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…How do I know you're not just saying that? |
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I… I don't know! Um… ahh… Remember when you came in here to comfort me the other night?! When I got so choked up trying to talk about, uh, about my mission? It was the nicest thing you've ever done… |
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Lottie… are you crying? |
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[sniffs] Please believe me! |
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…I believe you. |
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Glad to have you back. |
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It's… it's good to be back. |
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I was worried sick about you! What happened? Was it mind control? Did the Big One get to you? Please, please tell me he didn't. |
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Afraid so. |
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Good grief…! |
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I thought Jill liked me for a minute or two. Certainly wasn't the worst thing he could've put in my head. |
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Well, what if it had been? |
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I don't think I could live with myself, to be honest. But it wasn't. And at least I survived. |
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[shudders] At least. |
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Still me up here. [taps temple] |
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Interlude 3
[show/hide]Among yet another assortment of events, Lottie is still reeling from her second brainwashing in two days.
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Brainwashed…twice. Brainwashed… twice… I've been brainwashed! Twice! |
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[panicked meowing] |
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Oh, you poor thing. Sorry. |
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Think we'll be able to come here if we wear masks? |
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Russell and I actually tried that… |
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…Oh. |
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…She almost didn't believe me. It was terrifying! |
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Y'know, I had a nightmare about that once. |
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…You what? |
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… |
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Jill?! |
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 any good ways 2 stop nightmares and make sure ur thoughts are ur own? asking 4 a fri|
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J— |
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Do you mind? |
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It's days like this I wish there could be more of. Where time would just slow to a halt, and for a few blissful minutes, there'd be no Big One and everything would be fine. I guess that's just too much to ask, though. |
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Don't Just Stand There
[show/hide]After a few uncomfortable confrontations, Jill becomes determined to take a more proactive role in the Big One's slaughter.
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Don't you think maybe this is something you should've told Russell instead of me?! |
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I'll tell whoever I want whatever I damn well please! I've already told him too much—you think the Big One's not gonna see all this and start convincing me I should make out with him? Nobody can be friends on this goddamn island anymore! And even if it decides to put that off until later, it's just gonna be me embarrassing myself and then he'll never talk to me again! |
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He wo—you know, I never thought I'd be the one telling this to someone else, but you're overthinking this! |
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I gotta think my own thoughts while I still can, don't I? What's he even gonna think of me, if I tell him that I'm screaming Toxic at the top of my lungs because I'm scared, I'm a little coward and I'm scared the baby's gonna take my brain? |
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He's not going to think anything of you! Don't make it sound less terrifying than it is, it's a perfectly rational fear to have! I mean, Russell got brainwashed a while ago, and— |
 |
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He what? |
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Ummm… |
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I-I… |
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Good grief… |
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Vito, I… this… |
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I should not have said that, should I… |
 |
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…This is stupid! We have far more important things to worry about now. |
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[gulps] Mm-hmm. |
 |
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So, how's the mission going? |
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It's, ah… it's going. |
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I don't wanna, like, worsen your nerves or anything, but I kinda got some bad news— |
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Is this about Russell getting mind-controlled into thinking you liked him? I already knew that. |
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Oh, so it wasn't… damn, am I the only one who didn't know about this? |
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You've got a lot to deal with already, it's fine. Frankly, I don't think I'd have known if I hadn't asked him about my own brainwashing. |
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Ugh, I forgot about that! How're you holding up? |
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I'm only just now starting to get my mind off it. I didn't think it would be harder the second time… or that there'd be a second time, to be honest. |
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You need to get to killing that thing. Like, yesterday. |
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It's… much more complicated than it sounds. |
 |
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…You know what? No. No! I'm not just gonna lie around tossing and turning about things that didn't happen yet while other people are dealing with real problems. I'm doing something. |
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B—but Jill, you can't just bottle up— |
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Everything's this close to going down the drain and I'm over here worrying about a bunch of stupid dreams! I'm going to help you and I'm getting you a goddamn weapon. |
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Jill… |
 |
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spear gun|Search
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Surely it can't be as simple as buying one on the internet. |
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Girl, there's far worse things you can buy on the internet. And it is that simple—look! I already found one. |
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Rather than use an actual brand of speargun or a 3D model someone else worked very hard on, I had robots draw this gun for me.
 ...Please don't look at it too closely. 250.00CERTIFIED WINNER™ 100 Series Sport Speargun
|
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T-t-t-t… two— |
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I know… what a steal, right? Pricing's all over the place. The really high-end ones go for like 7, 800… |
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[coughs] M… maybe the Miasma's not so bad. |
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[chuckles] You'll find the right one eventually. And you'll be madly in love with it. Real love. |
Spearguns are sexy as hell! |
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Shame you're buying online and not from a sports place or something. I'd totally steal that speargun for you. Hell, I'd steal 10 of 'em! And a bunch of extra shafts and tips just because. |
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They… sell the tips separately from the rest of the spear? |
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Yeah, they're like 50— |
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Please stop! I don't think my heart can take it. |
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See, now under the right circumstances, they should be free. It's for the good of the island, man, he's literally trying to kill people. If that's not an emergency I don't know what is. |
 |
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You should consider getting a crossbow. Bowfishing doesn't need much fishing experience to get into, plus they're better suited to above-surface use. You know, it's not optimal to shoot off a speargun dry—you're not even supposed to load it dry! They're designed to shoot through water resistance and they have tremendous recoil. It makes me nervous thinking of someone as young as you handling a gun, anyway. |
|
W-wow… |
 |
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Why does everyone on this island suddenly know so much about fishing? |
|
…Well, that's just what I noticed, anyhow. |
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Poor Lottie. |
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I'm just glad there's a way to tell. 'Cause once is once, right? But twice? I don't think he's gonna stop at twice. |
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Damn shame. But it makes me wonder, what I'd act like when—I-I-I mean if I get brainwashed. |
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…Yeah. I guess we all have to keep our eyes peeled now, don't we. |
 |
 |
Britney Spears - Toxic |
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"When"… |
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Mm? Did you say something? |
|
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… |
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 |
|
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Lottie… do you think something's up with Jill? |
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M…maybe…? I should hope she's actually fine, for her sake. I don't know if she's… gotten over the nightmares or not, but… but if she hasn't, she's hiding it very well. |
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I wouldn't be so sure about that. |
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Huh? |
 |
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I dunno. Maybe it's just another one of my wild hunches. Bye! |
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Bye… |
 |
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J… Jill… if… if there's any time you don't think you're up to it, you don't… have to keep pushing yourself. |
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And who says I'm not? |
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N—no one actually, I just… felt like telling you. Just in case. |
 |
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♪ I think I did it again… |
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No. You've cried enough. |
There's hitting close to home, and then there's just blowing up the entire goddamn house. |
|
Lottie? Get in here. We're making some game plans. |
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M… my game plan was going to be calling it a night… |
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Then you're lucky I caught you in time! |
 |
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Jill, I… I just want some confirmation. You're not just… doing this so you don't have to sleep, are you? |
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Whaaaaat? That—that's crazy, you're crazy! I am super tired, though—tired of not doing a damn thing around here! |
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Y… you've already done plenty. |
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And I'm doing plenty more! |
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If… if that's what you really, truly want. |
 |
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[deep breath] I, er… like what you've done with these plants. |
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Thanks. The oxygen's really good for you, especially if you've been out on the beach. That Russell. He needs to watch out for himself. If he keeps pushing his limits like this something's going to go wrong. |
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Yeah… Russell… |
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I don't quite follow you. |
 |
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Now then—mok huak! What's in it? Tadpoles! Banana leaves! That sauce I can't remember the name of! |
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Mmngh… why don't you ask Etsuko? She… she's become… [yawns] …obsessed with Thai food lately. |
|
Because. Anyway, we'll start with the banana leaves! They're half a meter wide and 2 meters long, which is, um… about the size of a small child. And we're gonna need enough to wrap around the Big One. |
Least metrically impaired American→ |
|
How big is it again? |
|
V… very. |
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That's not a number. |
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I— I don't know, I can't get close enough to tell! I think Etsuko's better with these kinds of brain-teasers than I am, anyway. |
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Etsuko would just want me to go to sleep. |
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…So do I. |
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… |
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… |
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You better get your brain locked and loaded. |
 |
 |
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Ugh. M-my… my head's spinning. I should p…pr…probably head back now, it's, um… uh… |
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A little past midnight, I think. |
|
P-p-past midnight?! |
 |
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You seem different. |
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D…different? |
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Yeeeeahhh. Different. |
 |
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W…well, um, it's… late, and I— |
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Cut the crap, wriggler. |
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Ex…cuse me? |
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You heard me! Stay back, demon! I know it's you in there. |
 |
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P-p-please not this again… |
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What, you thought you could get away with this again? You might've caught Etsuko off guard, but you're not gonna fool me! |
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I…I-I-I'm… I'm really not— |
|
And would you quit doing that? It's one thing to brainwash a child three separate times, it's—it's a whole other thing to mock them while you're at it! |
 |
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You and I know damn well that Lottie doesn't sound like that. |
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I… I do when I'm t…t…tired, Jill, and, and… and we've been up since forever! |
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Yeah, ri—wait, did you just call me Jill? |
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…Yes? |
Things that would kill the Big One: a spear to the guts, citric acid, calling someone a diminutive |
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…What the hell am I doing? |
|
I… I think we should… b…b-both sleep. We'll… f… face this when we're ready. Th… those, uh… those plants, they're… they're here because you… you want us to heal… right? |
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Yeah… |
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M…maybe you could use something like that for yourself. |
 |
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Y'know, I… I kinda sorta really needed that. Good night, Lottie. |
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G…good night, Jill. |
 |
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So… how did you sleep? |
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Mmh! Like a baby. I just crashed the second I hit the pillow. |
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Did you, er… have any… dreams? |
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…Y'know what? I don't remember. |
 |
Interlude 4
[show/hide]I'm starting to think I've developed an addiction to writing filler.
|
Adrian, could you, er… call me Charlotte for a second? |
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No problem, Charlotte. |
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Thanks. I feel better already. |
|
If you don't mind me asking, are you gonna start going by that now, or…? |
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No, actually, it's… it's just that the Big One always calls me that, and… I'd like to hear it in a positive light, even just once. |
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Glad I could help, Charlotte. |
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Okay, um… |
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It would suck if that thing ruined the name Charlotte for you, Charlotte. |
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I think that's… [giggles] |
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Especially since that's your name, Char— |
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Adrian! [bursts out laughing] You can stop now! |
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Gotcha. |
 |
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Look at that beach. Ruined space, all of it. |
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Shame. |
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I went to the compatibility tester today, just for a laugh. Said Jill and I would make a terrible couple. |
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Even when he's wrong, he's wrong about how wrong he is. |
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You know it reaches all the way back there? |
|
It does?! |
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Does for me, at any rate. |
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Do you need to lie down? |
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Not really. It gets much weaker that far out. Felt more like I'd just been out for a run than anything really dangerous. |
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Good, good. |
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Lottie will have that menace's head any day now. |
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I hope. |
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Oh, she will. |
 |
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I, Claudius |
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There's just… something about Claudius. He wasn't taken very seriously because he stammered and he had many ailments. But he was very intelligent and cunning, and his accounts were brutally honest. Maybe I should keep working on that manuscript… |
|
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Th… th-the real… the real Claudius fought an orca?! |
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 |
|
Teres Major
[show/hide]Lottie comes to grips with how much actual preparation has to go into her mission.
|
You know, I'd still like to plan for it myself. Something practical, obviously. |
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You'll need to train your body if you're planning on killing it. |
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So, like right now? |
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More intensive. Are you using the crossbow or the speargun? |
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I, er, haven't decided yet. |
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In either case, shoulder strength is essential. With the crossbow you should be concerned with improving the tension in your back, and as for the speargun—how long can you hold your breath? |
|
I was hoping I could use it dry. |
|
Good lord. |
 |
|
This isn't something I can just hope and manoeuvre my way through, is it. |
 |
|
[gasps] |
|
57 seconds. Not very impressive… |
 |
|
…So I was thinking maybe the rest of you could consider what you'll be doing as well. I… feel awfully lonely right now, if I'll be honest. |
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I think I'll be gathering the ingredients. Something to keep me busy. |
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We're gonna have to set up a bunch of stuff on the beach, right? Seems right up my alley. |
 |
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I'll handle all the calculations. You just have to worry about not straining your teres major. |
|
I'm pretty sure it's her teres minor she'll have to worry about. |
|
Major. I'm 800% sure of it. |
|
Right, um… how about we focus on what's ours? |
 |
|
what is a teres major|Search
|
Who is Terry and why is he major? |
|
rotator cuff injury
|
|
bowfishing vs spearfishing
|
|
how to overcom|
|
 |
|
[doorbell ringing] |
|
Hm? |
 |
|
I think I'd remember if I ordered something. |
 |
|
You're welcome. -Jill CERTIFIED WINNER
200 SERIES |
|
Guess that settles that. The crossbow idea was kind of nice, though… |
|
Now, then. |
|
spearfishing muscle exercises
|
|
bowfishing muscle exercises
|
|
Huh, turns out it's both. I'll have to tell Da— |
 |
|
[doorbell ringing] |
|
Oh, what now?! |
 |
|
Another one of these… |
 |
|
Please be careful. COMPOUND BOW
|
|
Oh… well, that just leaves me right back where I started, doesn't it. |
|
I… suppose a little extra preparation couldn't hurt. |
 |
|
the band apart - node |
Teres Minor
[show/hide]After all the training she's gone through, Lottie is starting to think she's a bit more ready for the kill than she was before. But how ready is ready enough?
|
I'm impressed at how far you've come. |
|
I can hardly believe it myself. |
|
But you still have a long way to go. |
|
I figured about as much. There's a world of difference between shooting down a melon on an archery range and… and, uh… [violently clears throat] |
|
At least your teres major is intact. |
|
I've learnt something interesting about the muscles, actually… |
 |
|
Oh. Lucky it's not me doing all that. I'd pull some muscle I hadn't even accounted for. |
|
Yeah. Lucky you, I guess… |
|
You getting any stronger? |
|
Well, I certainly feel stronger… |
|
Even just feeling stronger is good enough. There's a lot of pressure on you, you know. |
|
You don't say… |
 |
|
Look, I wish this was easier just as much as you do. But think of the payoff. It's… |
|
YOU'LL BACK OUT AT THE LAST SECOND LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. WHAT INSPIRES THIS DELUSION OF A SUDDEN BURST OF CONFIDENCE IN SUCH A CRAVEN COWARD THAT SHE FALTERS AT THE MERE MENTION OF ENDING MY LIFE? |
|
Ah! |
|
Is it really that intimidating? |
|
Sorry, I, um… didn't catch that. |
|
Ah. All I was saying is that it's going to be worth all the… |
|
YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS. DEEP DOWN, YOU UNDERSTAND HOW CRUCIAL I AM TO THIS UNGRATEFUL ISLAND, AND HOW DESPERATELY YOU ALL NEED YOUR FEAR OF ME TO GUIDE YOU IN LIFE. |
|
C… c-can you stop talking?! |
|
Damn. Sorry I brought it up. |
|
No, it's not… I'm so, so, sorry, it really wasn't directed at you, I… I need some space to think. |
|
…OK. |
 |
|
Wait. What did she mean, it wasn't directed at… |
 |
|
Oh. |
 |
|
He's wrong. He's wrong, he's d… dea… c-completely wrong! Sudden burst of confidence, he says… even if I'm biding my time it's certainly not because I "understand how crucial he is"! I need to be absolutely, positively… 800% ready! |
|
After all, he's so massive and powerful and filled with so much rage, and… and what am I? Some girl who almost sort of knows how to aim a gun? |
|
…I need to get out more. Maybe the fountain's safe. |
 |
|
[inhales deeply] |
|
Oh, how I missed this. |
 |
|
He's just saying these things to lower your morale, you can't let him get to you. |
 |
|
64, 65, 66, 67… |
 |
|
Maybe he doesn't even believe that you're actually going to back out, maybe he's… |
|
Scared? Why would he be scared of you? It's not like you pose any real threat to him. The things he could do to you… oh, Charlotte, you've painted yourself into a corner. |
 |
|
… |
 |
|
GET OUT OF MY HEAD, YOU BEAST! |
 |
|
LEAVE ME ALONE! |
 |
|
Jill! Jill! Oh, Jill, it's awful! He… he won't stop tormenting me about how I'm delusional and I have no guts and I'm going to ch… chicken out! I don't know how you didn't break down sooner, I feel like my head's about to explode! |
|
Well, I don't wanna say it was Toxic, but… OK, it might have been. But it was mostly you. |
 |
|
M… me? |
|
Mm-hmm. I don't know where I'd be right now if it wasn't for that wake-up call of yours. Err, "go-to-sleep" call. [chuckles] |
|
Anyway, it made me think really hard about how I've been addressing all this and, and I reached out to people more, and I realized there's, like, a midway point between "everything bad is happening and I'm literally going to die right now" and "nothing I'm worried about matters". I still know it's a possibility, and it still kinda freaks me out even if it hasn't happened yet, but I found a healthy balance and I'm coping the best I can. |
|
I couldn't have helped you do all that. |
|
Don't be so hard on yourself. You do a lot more than you think. |
 |
|
Th… that's the other thing, though! He got into my thoughts again, and he's being much sneakier about it now! You all said he was horrible at pretending to be me, but I almost thought those were my own doubts I was thinking! |
|
Eww! Uh, I mean… you found out, though, didn't you? |
|
Well, um, er… I only found out because… he… he called me Charlotte. |
|
See, you know you don't call yourself that in your head. If you're absolutely sure about everything else that way, it'll be super easy to pick out the thoughts that aren't yours. Now this is gonna sound corny as hell… |
 |
|
But you need to believe in yourself, Lottie. |
 |
|
It's the least you can do. |
 |
|
It's the least you can do… |
 |
|
It's the least you can do… |
 |
|
You need to believe in yourself. |
 |
We Attack at Dawn
[show/hide]Sick of being underestimated by her foe, Lottie rises with the sun to put an end to his ridicule.
|
…COWARD… |
 |
|
The memory of his horrible echoing voice still burns fresh in my mind—I likely didn't get enough sleep to extinguish it. |
 |
|
My eyelids start to flicker and I'm about to let the drowsiness wash over me when I'm overcome with a sudden vigour. |
 |
|
I promise myself I'll go back to sleep when I'm done. Now? Now I have work to do. |
|
I'll have earned every second, I tell myself as I pull the blankets away and slip out of bed. I can't risk waking my neighbours with even the slightest noise—Vito would insist I couldn't sneak out this soon, in the day or in my training, but I couldn't take another second of the Big One's mockery, and Etsuko would probably want to come with—and as much as I could use the support, this is something I have to do on my own. |
 |
|
They'll all thank me later, I tell myself as I pad across the rug and lower myself to my knees. |
 |
|
The boxes are right where I've left them, untouched—I'd thought that these gifts represented the final, and using them to practise with would devalue that somehow. |
|
I reach for the speargun initially, then the crossbow—my hand does this indecisive dance for a bit, until I turn my attention to the way a strip of amber light from my window is falling onto the box for the speargun, right over the note Jill left me. I reason that I need to channel my inner Jill, and choose the gun. |
|
You're welcome, indeed. |
 |
|
I open the box as slowly as I possibly can—even though a few cardboard scrapes here and there couldn't possibly make it through the walls, I still hold myself back. I slowly pull it out, its almost absurdly long barrel peering out more and more, until at last I can see the rest of it, and coax it all the way out from behind. I take a single spear out with it—ideally, I'd only need one. |
 |
|
I remember what Vito told me, about how nervous it made him for someone as young as me to be handling a gun—it certainly feels like I'm gripping a giant metal taboo—but more importantly, how I'm not supposed to load it dry. |
|
I glance for a second at the crossbow's box, at his little reminder for me. |
 |
|
Oh, well. I'm being careful now, anyway. On the ocean I'll be absolutely merciless. |
|
My prizes in hand, I stalk over to the door and turn the knob, pry it open—as perfectly noiseless as I'd hoped—and tiptoe out. |
|
The floor of the corridor is cold—I almost wish I wasn't barefoot, but I have bigger fish to… well, bigger tadpoles to grill. I occupy my mind with Jill's encouragement, grateful that it's returned victorious from the battle for my thoughts. |
 |
|
Outside the complex I dart off to the side for a bit and have myself a deep breath of unsullied air—I almost consider stalling just to take more of it in, but decide against it—the longer I take, the less of my day I'll have to enjoy. The sky is still a lovely shade of vermilion, but every second counts. |
 |
|
I keep myself restrained and try to breathe as little as possible on my walk behind the concert hall, peering out for a bit to take a look at the rankings. I don't see Vito or Russell anywhere near the top in vitality—or myself for that matter—but that's definitely going to change very soon. |
 |
|
The stony pier is a refreshing change for my feet from the grass. I climb over the edge and lower myself into the boat. The lightheadedness is already starting to set in. |
 |
|
I feel a slight twinge of regret that I hadn't picked the bow—or maybe that's just the Miasma, I figure. At any rate, I set off and crouch in the bottom of the boat, like a certain self-important larva lurking in the deep. |
 |
|
I can't help but grin. |
 |
|
That sense of satisfaction swelling up inside me is the last thing I remember. |
 |
Ultimatum
[show/hide]Lottie is a bit miffed that after how far she's come and how much she anticipated it, she ended up not remembering a thing. But the best is yet to come, right?
"Shhh! Shut up, I think she's—"
My lungs swelled. My eyes snapped open, and then reflexively squinted back shut—the sun had risen further than it was when I'd set off, and the scattered ghosts of droplets all over my glasses only made its glare worse. In that fraction of a second I caught Jill, Adrian, and Dany bent over me.
After that great gasp, my body seized up and I found myself trapped in a terrible coughing fit, my clothes soaked and peppered with sand, digging into my skin with every heave. When at last I could manage two seconds without coughing, I groped for my speargun—precious thing, key to my victory!—and gripped it as hard as I could manage, which wasn't very. It was as wet and frigid as my clothes.
I forced a single eye open. "Wow. I… I… I…" I paused to take a breath and coughed once more. "I've…really done it, haven't I."
I smiled weakly. Everyone else's faces seemed rather blank. I wouldn't have blamed them—I could hardly process it myself.
"You…saw it, didn't you?"
The air hung between us. It was strangely harsh and bitter, but I chalked that up to my being so used to the Miasma that normal air now felt Miasmic to my poor, beaten lungs, and took a bit more of it in. The coughing resumed—I'd have all the time in the world to get used to it.
"…How'd it go down? Did I, er"—I could scarcely get a word out amidst all the coughing—"p…put up a good fight?"
Images of the climactic moment floated through my mind—on my last legs from his more and more desperate strangulation but spiting him by continuing to survive, I waited until the atmosphere was just short of unlivable, when he was confident I'd be dead in seconds, and my finger tightened on the trigger—I speared him! But the recoil pushed my poor, weakened body over the edge of the boat, and I fell into the sea, the last thing on my mind being the contentment of success.
At the very least, that was how I hoped it happened.
I was brought back to reality by the sound of air being sucked in through my rescuers' teeth.
"Yeeah, uhhhh, abooouut that, Laaahddiieee…" Adrian's gaze wandered about behind his aviators, each syllable he drew out longer than the last.
"You kind of, um…" Jill said something else after that, but I couldn't make any of it out over how violently I'd begun coughing yet again. She winced and bit down on her fist.
I couldn't have inhaled that much water, and I'd surely had enough time to get used to this Miasma-less atmosphere. Summoning as much strength as I could, I propped myself up on the sand and, after a heavy wheeze that attracted some more concerned looks, addressed Jill.
"I, ah, d…didn't hear you."
"You didn't kill him," said Dany.
"Didn't—?"
"Didn't kill him," she repeated, that eternally firm look of hers on her face. I'd never known her to lie. My heart racing and my eyes beginning to sting, I looked from her to Jill to Adrian and back—their faces all carried the same muted look of pain.
"You were on the boat for like, two minutes before you passed out and fell off," said Adrian. "I think he one-hit K.O.'d you."
"It capsized," Dany added.
"So…so the air is…" I reasoned out loud.
NO, YOU DIDN'T KILL ME, YOU WRETCH, came that dreadful jolt at the base of my brain. Jill sank to her knees, and Dany and Adrian squeezed their eyes shut, her hands pressed to her temples and his pinching the bridge of his nose.
IT'S PREPOSTEROUS OF YOU TO THINK YOU'D EVEN TRIED. IT WAS A FAILURE OF LAUGHABLE PROPORTIONS, BUT DON'T THINK FOR A SECOND THAT YOU'RE ESCAPING FROM THIS AFFAIR UNSCATHED, he continued, every second of it feeling like my skull was being hammered at from all sides. AS I'M SURE YOU'VE NOTICED, WHAT WITH ALL THE PHLEGM YOU'VE BEEN SPEWING OUT THAT FEEBLE MOUTH OF YOURS, I'VE COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT I'D BEEN GIVING YOU TOO LENIENT OF AN ATMOSPHERE, AND ADJUSTED ACCORDINGLY. YOU HAVE A LOT OF GALL FOR A NINE-YEAR-OLD.
"I—I-I—I—I'm…" I choked out, just short of paralysed. "I'm fourteen."
YOU ACT NINE. AND YOUR COMMAND OF SPEECH IS LESS THAN THAT OF AN INFANT. BUT TOO MUCH GALL ALL THE SAME.
The draining new atmosphere he was inflicting on me suddenly seemed to soften, and I allowed my shallow, panicked breaths the luxury of deepening the slightest bit.
WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD CONSIDER IT THE GREATEST MERCY THAT I AM ABOUT TO EXTEND TO YOU.
Dany opened an eye; Jill lifted her head up and squinted past me at the tide. It was a private message now, for my ears only. Or my brain, anyhow.
THERE IS BUT A SINGLE CONDITION UNDER WHICH I WOULD GLADLY PUT THIS BEHIND ME, AND IN FACT WAIVE YOU OF ALL RETRIBUTION.
"…W…waive…me?" My voice lowered.
AFFORD YOU ALL THE ATMOSPHERIC PRIVILEGES OF A PASSABLY OBEDIENT SUBJECT, AS IF YOU HADN'T SO MUCH AS MADE A SLIGHT AGAINST ME. PROVIDED YOU DISPOSE OF THEM.
"D…d-d—dispose of what?" I murmured, though my heart sank knowingly, and it was all I could do to fake obliviousness and stop myself from saying "who" instead of "what".
THOSE PROFLIGATES FOR WHOSE SAKE YOU DISRESPECT ME SO MUCH. THE GAUNT ONE WHOSE SMUG FACE—WHOSE VERY EXISTENCE ENRAGES ME JUST TO THINK ABOUT, AND THE OTHER ONE—THE CORPULENT ONE. BRING THEM HERE TO BE SACRIFICED TO THE SEA AND CONSIDER NOTHING FORGIVEN BEFORE THEN. YOU HAVE MADE AN ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE, AFTER ALL, HOWEVER POOR IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN.
I wasn't sure if I had become dizzy from the Miasma or from the gravity of the offer he'd made me.
I'M EXPECTING SOME LEVEL OF ACTUAL COMPETENCE IN THIS AFFAIR. IT WOULD BE RATHER INCONVENIENT FOR YOU IF YOUR SKILL AT THIS WERE ANYTHING LIKE YOUR SKILL IN TREASON, OR YOUR COURAGE, OR YOUR EMOTIONAL STABI—
"Alright, alright, I…I get it! You hate my guts!" I cried.
NOT IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT. And with that, the rumbling stopped.
The shooting pain in my head faded into a dull throb, the massive weight the Big One had put on my shoulders wasting no time to replace it, but before I could even think any more deeply about it I felt my lungs give in, the beach swirling around me and my vision growing dim as the little bit of energy I had finally left my body and my head collided once more with the sand.
Interlude 5
[show/hide]Lottie, absolutely floored after discovering the truth, barricades herself in her apartment, much to the chagrin of her friends.
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Tha… that… that sure taught me. |
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Lottie? Lottie, please answer! We're all worried sick about you! |
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… |
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Lottie. |
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… |
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I know you can hear me. |
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You should be worried! I don't have a snowball's chance of k… k-ki…k…k-killing that thing! |
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And Jill… if… if you're out there… |
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You lied to me. |
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…She lashed out quite a bit. It was kind of scary… but then again I can't imagine anyone taking something like that very well. |
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Damn. Well, she can't keep herself holed up in there forever. |
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I suppose she can't. But she seems to be in quite the state, and goodness knows how long it'll take her to recover. |
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She didn't… say anything about me, did she? |
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Umm… not that I can recall. |
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Mona, stop. You really don't have to protect my feelings like that. |
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…Well, ah, she might have mentioned you in passing. |
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Oh, I heard. |
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You lied to me. |
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I heard everything. |
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Listen, it's not that I thought it would hurt you… |
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[sighs] No, it's fine. I'm just gonna go reason with her. |
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[banging] |
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Lottie, answer the goddamn door right now! I don't know what in the hell you're thinking, but if it's anything about how you're some kind of failure that can't do anything right then you're giving the Big One exactly what he wants! |
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I wasn't lying about jack, either! You already did so much just by showing up and trying! You didn't back out—you proved him wrong! And so what if you didn't make it? Not everyone gets everything right the first time! |
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Look, I'm not expecting you to spring back up just like that or anything, and you definitely shouldn't be going outside, but… but just know that every little bit you recover, you're spitting in his face a little more. Work through it just for that, at least. |
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Jill, I… I don't know if I can really believe any of that right now. |
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[sighs] Fine. Whenever you're ready. |
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 OIN@TerminallyOin Yo
I need you to do me a solid rq
Gonna be a little tricky tho, think you can get it done in a few weeks idk what it is but i regret it already lets go
   Thanks man you're the worst
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… |
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[furious typing] |
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The cavalry were on the wings and the siege-engines, mangonels, and catapults planted on sand-dunes. Nobody knew what on earth was going to happen. He rode forward into the sea as far as Penelope’s knees and cried: 'Neptune, old enemy, defend yourself. I challenge you to mortal fight. You treacherously wrecked my father’s fleet, did you? Try your might on me, if you dare.' |
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A Taste of Victory
[show/hide]I love Paris. Don't you?
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Lottie? |
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Lottie. |
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Mmngh? |
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Rise and grind, phûng. |
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… |
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Huh? |
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I said rise and grind. |
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N—no, after that. |
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No time for that, Lottie, get your stuff. |
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M… m-m…my… my stuff? What for? |
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Oh yeah, we're going to— |
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Oh no, we're… we're not m… moving, are we? Oh, this is all my fault…! I'm so, so, so, so sorry, I… I don't know what I was thinking that morning, I m-m-messed it up for all of you! |
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Lo— |
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I know it's basically just a d… death trap for me now, but… I'm really gonna miss it here! I… I just hope those two will like the new— |
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Lottie! |
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[chuckles] |
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We're not moving. We're just gonna vacation for a bit—some of us desperately need it, y'know? |
(That means you, you pollinating ass bitch.)  |
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Oh, that… [pants] that sounds quite nice. W…where to? |
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  DRIAN@AprilThceifMan OIN
i thought u died
i was going to celebrate and everything   I AM LIVING IN YOUR WALLS
ADRIAN WHAT THE FUCK
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| Read in Full |
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DRIAN @AprilThceifMan I <3 paris
 Khaosan Road |
 L@h0neyblades i'm always either blinking or not noticing the moment when the picture's actually being taken…and here's me doing both ack °~°
i didn't want to leave that beach. the air was so crisp…  |
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…Wow. I haven't been to the beach since… since, um… uhh… |
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Take it all in, Lottie. [deep breath] Every day's going to be like this soon. |
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I hope so… |
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Well, I know so. |
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…Thanks. |
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DRIAN @AprilThceifMan Beyond fried fuckass
    |
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Sooo… |
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Oh, I'm saving my tongue. |
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Yeah, same here. |
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I want to know if I'll like it. I'd feel really awful if we went to all that trouble and I ended up not liking it. |
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This is a dream come true! I think even if I didn't like it, I'd keep on eating! |
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I think it would be interesting! |
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Yeah. Interesting… |
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O-kay. Ryo— |
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This stuff's divine! Kill him good, Lottie! |
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I was planning on saving my tongue, too, but… I suppose a little taste couldn't hurt. |
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So? How'd ya find it? |
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  @8jilliandollars the view… second most gorgeous thing in this hotel
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I'll be honest… I didn't think I deserved this holiday. |
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I, er… k-kind of still don't. |
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Lottie, don't say that. |
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You've been through a lot of shit. |
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I… I understand that… in theory, but, uh… |
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You absolutely deserve this, Lottie. |
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Yeah, the way things have been going lately, you deserve, like, ten vacations. |
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And tons of money. |
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And money! |
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W-wow, you really… I… I… thank you! Th… this entire trip I was worried you all would realize I was unworthy and you wasted all this time and money on… I, I mean I was kind of on edge but… but I still had an amazing time, d—don't get me wrong! I actually feel really refreshed! |
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It was so exciting… but it was so nerve-wracking… is… is this what killing the Big One will feel like? |
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I… |
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I said it. |
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D-d-did you hear that?! I'll… I-I'm actually killing him—I really will, I can feel it! I—it's the home stretch! And… and we have a right to put our feet up before we can revel in his death! |
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We'll… w-we'll make the most of this, and then… then I'll kill the Big One! For real this time! |
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Damn right you will! |
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Let's go! |
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Congratulations. |
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L @h0neyblades missing it already…
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Salami and Oranges (Prologue)
[show/hide]Back home once more, Lottie finds herself having to draft out the beginning of the end.
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We'll have to go about doing it some way or another, won't we. |
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We sure will. |
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Another day there would have been nice, though, wouldn't it. |
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Yeah. |
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He was probably seething about us being gone the whole time. Warms me up inside, it does. Might as well enjoy his tears if he doesn't want us to have the rest of him. |
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You're awfully calm about all this. I mean, he… he wants— |
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He's not getting it. Not if your plan works. |
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I don't… have an exact plan. |
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You don't have an exact plan yet. |
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… |
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Allow me to suggest a bit of trickery. |
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Trickery, hm… |
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Oh, of course… maybe if… how about I just… and then… |
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I, er… c—come bearing news! L… let me breathe enough to deliver it, if—if you feel so inclined, your, uh— |
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[coughing] |
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[gasps] |
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Th… thank you, Your… Y—Your Eminence. |
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THIS IS THE SORT OF DEFERENCE TO BE EXPECTED OF SUCH LOWLY WORMS AS YOURSELF. WHAT IS THE NATURE OF THIS NEWS? |
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Um, uh… I… I've… r-regarding your, uh, offer, oh G…Great One… |
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YOU FINALLY WISH TO MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL? |
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M-m… more or less. [coughs] I'll… I'll be d… d-dr… dr… drowning those two… very, very soon. |
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…VERY WELL. I LOOK FORWARD TO THIS DR… DR… DROWNING WITH GREAT PLEASURE. |
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P-p-please don't do that. |
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I DO WHAT I WANT. |
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"I do what I want". What a massive baby… |
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YES, CHARLOTTE. RELATIVE TO YOU, I AM, AS YOU PUT IT, "A MASSIVE BABY". YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, HAVE NO SUCH EXCUSE FOR YOUR IMMATURITY. HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO EARN MY FAVOR? |
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N-n-no I haven't, m…my, my, er… my liege. |
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THEN QUIT GIVING ME CHEEK, BEFORE YOU TRIP OVER YOUR TONGUE. |
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I, er… the… [pants] the plan is in motion… fountain… to… [pants] tomorrow at sunset… tell… Vito. |
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Oooh. |
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Salami and Oranges
[show/hide]The pieces are falling into place.
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Gentlemen. |
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Like what you've done with your hair. |
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Thanks… |
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I recommend you do the same. I have a gut feeling we'll need to. |
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What's this, then, some sort of dinner date? |
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You… could say that. |
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For us, really… you shouldn't have! |
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You'll… certainly be feeling that way. |
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Bon appétit! |
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L… Lottie, what is this? |
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What's it look like? |
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It looks disgusting is what it looks like. |
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That… that's the idea. |
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Erm, I—I mean… it's just… it's important, all right? |
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… |
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… |
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W… we'll all think nothing of this when he's dead. Wow, I still haven't gotten over that. Dead, dead, dead. He'll die and we're killi— |
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You know, there's a lot of talk of this "we", Lottie, but I don't see your platter of sludge anywhere. |
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Oh, it—it's… I left it over here. |
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Right then… [gulps] Let's eat. |
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[groaning] |
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How much more of this? |
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I'm this close to throwing up…! |
Please ignore this stray pixel I'm fucking tired |
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Really… |
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Huh? |
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Umm—you're right, it is about time we got going. Off to the ocean, now… we've got to get that killing urge out of our system. |
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Hm. Killing, killing, killing… |
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I know this sounds odd, but, er… mind if I tell you something about Caligula? |
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The War on Neptune
[show/hide]Lottie, Russell and Vito channel their inner Caligula and head off for the slaughter.
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He went… a bit mad, to say the least. Claudius accompanied him when he set off to the shore with his army, and he… declared war on Neptune. Fought the ocean, that is. |
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I think I've heard of that… |
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Did it actually happen? |
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P… probably not. The book's where that came from, if I remember correctly. |
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Oh, I think I know where you're going with this. Reckon we're the Claudius to your Caligula here, right? |
It took every bone in my body not to write "innit". |
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Oh, no, we're—we're all Caligula. We'll all have to be a little mad for this to work. |
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Wave goodbye to your king, you, er… p-pr—profligates. You'll never see him again. |
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GOOD RIDDANCE. |
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Yeah, good riddance! |
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WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? DON'T WASTE YOUR LAST MOMENTS ON EARTH SASSING ME! |
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WHAT'S TAKING YOU SO LONG? YOU'VE DONE FAR MORE IN MUCH LESS TIME, AND THAT'S SAYING QUITE A LOT ABOUT SUCH A TEMPORIZING WASTE OF— |
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Just… just a moment, my liege! They seem to be rebelling! Oh, and that "corpulent one"… he's just so… well… c…corpulent! |
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(Sorry.) |
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I-I'll have it all under control in a bit! |
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YOU'D BETTER. |
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Just… |
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…a bit… |
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YOU BETRAYED ME! |
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You shouldn't have expected anything less. |
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Now say… |
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…Say g… ghh… goodb… |
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R… Russ, wha— [coughs] —what if we… |
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We won't! We can't…! We can't. |
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R-right, Lottie…?! |
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YOU WILL, AND ALL YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE YOU OTHERWISE IS PURE REGICIDAL DELIRIUM. CHARLOTTE HAS COME TO TERMS WITH THAT. SHE'S YET TO FOLLOW THROUGH ON THOSE EMPTY WORDS OF HERS BECAUSE SHE KNOWS I'M RIGHT. |
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You're… you're a p-p-plague on this island… and… |
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[groans] …and like all p… plagues… |
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THOSE THREATS OF YOURS HAVE EVEN LESS GRAVITAS WHEN YOU'RE CHOKING ON THEM. |
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Shut up… |
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SHUT YOUR DISGUSTING MOUTH! |
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[coughing] |
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Qypthone - La Ragazza Di Trieste |
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Aaahhhh! |
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L… Lottie?! |
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I ALREADY DELIGHT IN THAT YOUR FAILURE IS ETCHED IN FATE, CHARLOTTE. THIS DEVELOPMENT ONLY PLEASES ME FURTHER. |
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W…what development? |
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PLAY-ACT AT BEING A BIG STRONG HUNTRESS ALL YOU LIKE NOW… |
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IT MEANS NOTHING WITHOUT YOUR EYES. |
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Lottie, noooo! |
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Please, you… you can't go on like this! |
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Yeah, give us the gun! |
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I, err… |
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Warmer-warmer-Lottie-come-on-you're-almost-there-you've-almost-got-it! |
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Careful! Careful, Lottie, please be… |
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YOUR EFFORTS ARE ALL IN VAIN, YOU FAMBLING SLUGGARD. |
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Sh… shut up… he… d-doesn't shut up, does he…? |
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SURELY IF THIS IS MY DEATH, AS YOU SO HYSTERICALLY CLAIM, THEN I AM ENTITLED TO MY FINAL WORDS, HOWEVER MANY THEY… |
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Mmh… no, he doesn't. He might soon… but he doesn't. Massage? |
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…Yes, please. It hurts so, so much… |
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Especially… |
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What?! |
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It… it shifted. D-did you feel that, or… or am I just…? |
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Ugh… he's still going on… |
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Wait… I think I understand what she's saying. |
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What, about the…? |
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Your head hurts somewhere else too, doesn't it? |
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…It does. |
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I… I think it might be… well, I hope it's… |
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The… the gun, I found it! |
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Oh, good…! |
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Let's go! |
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Yes… let's. |
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f.size.free - key |
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Ta…take it in, boys… it's all over. |
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Wow. I just… really want to thank… everyone, for believing in me, b…but you two especially, for… for following me into this… t—terrifying unknown, when I wasn't even sure this plan would work, and, and here we are and… I… |
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…I wish I could see the looks on your faces right now! |
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We're um… [sniff] We're crying too. |
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Ahh, stop it! I liked not knowing better! |
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…The sunset. |
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Hmm? |
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I… I took the sunset for granted. |
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It's okay, you couldn't have seen this coming. |
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It's just as gorgeous as earlier. I wouldn't say you're missing much. |
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I'd… still like to see it for myself. |
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Poor thing. |
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Enjoy it for me, would you? |
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I was saluting you. |
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Wow, this… th… this is… it's really going to be my life now. |
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C—c… compared to the, ah… everything, it's really not all that much, but I… I'd still rather… um… |
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[clears throat] |
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What are the chances they'd, er, wash up? |
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Not good. |
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…Oh. |
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Oh… Claudius. I feel like it's… kind of silly how much that book inspired me, but… wow, did it ever. I can't just leave it unfinished. Oh, but I can't finish it either… unless maybe I tried really, really hard. |
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I mean, I… I killed the Big One like this. If I could do something as hard as that, then, uh… |
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Hotei - Opus |
I, Apicula
[show/hide]The evil has been slain and all is well on the island… almost.
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Had I known how, I would have edited this book to be upside-down.I'm a monster, I know. |
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Lottie, you're not gonna believe this. |
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In a second. I think I can almost make this out…! |
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Second's up! |
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Hey… hey! I-I'll have to start over! |
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I'll spare you the trouble: they're all dead now! Come on! |
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The… Big One? |
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I… I think I would believe he's dead—I did kill him, after all. |
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Oh, Charlotte. It's what's on the inside that counts! |
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Ohhhh. |
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…'Scuse me? |
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Stick your hand in. |
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You… |
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You want me to p-p-p-p-put my hand in its mouth?! |
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Relax! It's not gonna hurt you! |
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B-be—because it's dead, Etsuko! I… I'm not reaching into a c-c…c…carcass, especially not his! |
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I promise you won't be disappointed. |
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[sighs] |
She's not gonna notice you winking, you silly goober! |
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…This is so embarrassing… |
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No… no way. |
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He ate them?! |
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He ate them. |
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He… ate them. |
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Th… they're a bit scuffed up. |
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Y'know, you shot that thing down at the perfect time. |
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A second too late and you would've been stuck on that page for months! |
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Yeah, I… I guess I did. |
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…Just one question, Etsuko: how did you find this out? |
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Um… |
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"NOOO, CHARLOTTE, YOU CAN'T JUST KILL ME! AAAGHHHH!" |
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[cough] Ugh… dictatorship… is good… BLEGH! |
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…Intuition. |
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Wow, that's… that was really amazing of you. |
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Aww, what? Coming from you? I mean, you literally—that's nothing compared to what you did! |
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No, no, you were right! I'd really be in it deep if it weren't for you! |
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Thank you. |
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No, thank you. For everything. |
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…You're welcome. |
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Thanks for reading! |